the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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