Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
