I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
