420 ftw
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
