I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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