i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize