she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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