did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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