Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
