I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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