This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
