why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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