Where is the hickey?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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