We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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