Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
