Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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