OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
