There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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