I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
