I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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