So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
