You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
