Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
