I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
