Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
