YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So here I am, sexting at work.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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