I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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