remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My dick has a subreddit
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
