What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
