Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
