you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
