I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All I want is dick and wine.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize