i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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