She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
