Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
