I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
