I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
