I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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