She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
