i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
