Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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