And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
