I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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