no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
