she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
