One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
