I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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