I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
