So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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