Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
