i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize