she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
