just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
