its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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