You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
