I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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