Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
