Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
is that a dick in a sweater?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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