you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Pooping to opera.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
